Lost In New Moon
by Mrs.RobertPattinson
Summary: This is more for me than anyone else but if you want to read it go for it!
1. ALL Wrong

**Chapter 1**

"But I can't help myself…your so…mouthwatering," Laurent told Bella with an evil hungry grin. I bit my lip lightly as imagined the scene in my head from both the book and the movie. One minute I was smelling the sweet vanilla candle that was on my nightstand and next thing I smell is autumn in the air.

I could feel a cold breeze whoosh around me. I opened my eyes and looked around at my surroundings. The first thing I noticed was that I was standing up. I had been lying down on my bed…how did I get to my feet? The next thing I noticed was the trees.

What the hell? I turned around slowly and took in where I was carefully. This is the meadow. The meadow from the book. My heart pounded fast in my chest. Did I go insane? Am I stuck in my head? My mother always said I was going to get caught up in my fantasies…I didn't think she meant literally!

That's when I heard it. It sounded like a wet munching sound. I slowly turned around and froze in place. It was Laurent. He was crouched over something. I slowly took a couple steps forward and gasped. A lifeless Bella was in his arms. Her throat cut out.

Tears quickly sprang to my eyes. This wasn't supposed to happen. She gets away in the book…if she hadn't gone away then there would be no Eclipse or Breaking Dawn. I choked out a sob and suddenly he was in front of me. I gasped from surprise as I jerked my head back.

"Who are you?" he asked in his Jamaican accent.

"I…," I could feel my heart in my throat. I couldn't finish the sentence. I took a step back in fear. He grinned at me evilly and lifted his hand up in the air to attack when we heard it.

A loud deep growl that came from the trees to our right. I quickly turned to look at it and froze over. The wolves had come. I looked back at Bella's lifeless body with tears in my eyes before looking back in time to find the wolves chasing Laurent.

A huge red-brown wolf walked by me slowly. He looked at me from his left eye. "Jacob," I whispered knowing that it was him.

His eyes widened a bit before he took off running with the other wolves. I looked back at Bella before I quickly ran to her side. Maybe she still had a chance. Maybe she was still alive. My mouth trembled and tears were running down my flushed cheeks as I slowly took her wrist in my fingers and felt for a pulse.

My heart sped in my chest. There was none. I looked up at her face to find it staring up at the sky lifeless. I covered my mouth with my hand as a sob escaped my chest. She _wasn't _supposed to die. This is _all_ wrong.

"Bella!" I blinked a couple times and realized that it was dark already. Had I been staring at her _that_ long? I stayed on my knees and looked up to my right to see a tall figure walking towards me.

"Bella?" I recognized that voice. It was Jacob. I looked away from him and looked back at her. I think I had entered a state of shock. I felt numb. I lost my favorite character. The _main_ character.

"Oh my god," I could see him from the corner of my eyes now, "Is she…?" the question lingered.

I sniffled before I slowly with a shaky hand reached over and closed her eyes. "She is," I whispered in a quivery voice.

He fell on his knees and stared at her. I could see his heart breaking. I wonder how Edward would get if he was here? Oh right I already know that don't I?

He grabbed the sides of his face in agony as he started shaking violently. I moved over to him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry," I whispered, "This wasn't supposed to happen." Now with Bella gone…who would Jacob imprint on?

He covered his hands with his face and sobbed into them. I wrapped my arm around him and leaned my head on his shoulder. Bella was right…it was easy being with Jake. He turned around and buried his face in my shoulder.

I rested my cheek against his shoulder as he sobbed into mine. You'd think I'd feel awkward in this situation but I didn't. I felt rather comfortable and warm in Jake's arms. And to think I'm Team Edward. He pulled away after a while and looked me in the eyes.

"Who are you?" he asked. Why does everyone want to know who I am?

"I'm Jazzmin….Bella's….friend," I told him slowly.

"From here?" he asked.

"Umm…no I'm from Jacksonville," I lied.

He nodded slowly before he stood up slowly. I stood up with his help, "I need to get Charlie," he shook his head, "Tell him the news."

I bit my lips and rubbed at my bare arms, "This is going to kill him," I said shaking my head again.

He clenched his jaw tight, "This is all because of those stupid bloodsuckers," he was pissed.

I kept my mouth shut. If I said anything to upset him he can change and I could end up looking like Emily…or worse like Bella. "Are you going to be able to tell him?" I asked.

He looked down at his hands, "I have to tell him."

"I'll go with you…umm…what do we do with…?" I looked back at what was now a corpse.

"I'll take her to the hospital or…something…I'll meet you at Charlie's," he responded back before he gently lifted her up in his arms and started walking away from me.

Yeah that would have been fine if I knew where exactly I was. All I know is that I'm in the middle of a dead meadow a couple miles from Charlie's house. I rubbed my arms as I slowly started walking through the forest.

I somehow was reminded of Bella as I was walking and couldn't stop myself from crying. I ended up falling down at lot. Its dark and my blurry eyes from the tears aren't exactly helping either. I was officially lost. I didn't know where I was or how to get back on the road.

"Jacob," I whispered as I looked around all the trees that were around me. "Where are you?" I whispered as I shivered from the cold and rubbed my arms fiercely. I was wearing a tank top and jeans…not exactly clothes you wear for Forks weather.

I could see my breath in the air. This isn't good my arms were starting to get numb from the cold. I stopped in front of a tree and sat down against it. I wrapped my arms around my knees and shivered violently from the cold.

I'm going to freeze to death. I can't believe it. I had always joked around with my friends at home that I would die from the cold…guess I was right.

"Jazzmin?!" I lifted my head up with chattering teeth to see Jacob walking towards me.

I tried to move but my muscles were frozen. He bent down in front of me and lightly placed his hand on my knee, "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I –I'm f–freez–zing," I shattered out.

He looked down at my arms and legs before he looked into my eyes again, "Can you move?" he asked.

Instead of answering I just shook my head lightly. "Can I pick you up?" he asked.

I nodded making my teeth shatter again. I clenched my jaw and shook violently before he lifted me up in his arms. He wasn't wearing a shirt so I immediately felt the heat radiating from his skin. I shook more as my body tried to warm up again.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his neck, "I –I'm s–sorry ab–bbbout Bbbbb-ellll–a," I managed to get out.

"Me too," he whispered back. It was quiet as he continued walking. I was still shivering from the cold, "Were you two close?" he asked me.

I pursed my lips as they quivered, "Like sisters," I told him. I felt everything Bella had felt through the books so it felt like I _was_ Bella.

"She never mentioned you," he confessed.

"We kind of stopped talking to each other when she left…it hurt too much. And now…she's _really_ gone," my voice broke.

"I know how you feel," he murmured. I stayed quiet as he continued walking. I noticed his pace was slowing down so I looked up to see that we were approaching Charlie's house.

"Did you tell Charlie already?" I asked.

"Yeah," his voice trembled, "He already broke the news to Renee. She passed out but eventually woke up. They're going to take Bella's body to Jacksonville for the funeral."

I swallowed hard, "I…I can't go back," I said shaking my head, "To see all the faces of the people I know and love crying," I was obviously making this all up. I needed to stay in Forks so I could find a way to get back home. How I got here is beyond me.

"Is Charlie here?" I asked as he gently set me on my feet on the porch.

"Yeah but he's packing up to leave to Jacksonville already," he replied back.

I nodded as I stared at the door. "You're not going to tell anyone are you?" he asked me. I looked up at him and looked into his eyes intently. He was talking about his secret…the Cullen's' secret.

"No…I promise I won't," I told him. I looked back at the door, "Should I knock?" I asked.

His hand extended out in front of me and opened the door to the house. "Charlie!"

Charlie came bounding down the stairs suitcase in hand. His eyes were puffy and red. I bit my lip lightly and looked down. "Who's this?" he asked Jacob in a rough voice.

"This is Bella's friend from Jacksonville," Jacob explained.

"I came to meet Bella…she called me to meet her in the meadow but," I shook my head, "I was too late…she was…gone…by the time I got there," I swallowed the large lump in my throat painfully.

"Well we're heading back to Jacksonville…do you need a ride back?" he asked.

"Actually…I was wondering if I could stay here…see I _don't_ want to go back there…Bella said I could stay here but then," I looked around, "All this happened."

"You can stay here as long as you like. I don't know when I'll be back so I needed someone to take care of the house," he looked up at Jake, "Check up on her every once in a while. Don't want anything happening…to her too."

"Sure," Jake replied back.

**A/N: okay so I don't expect reviews for this story because this is mostly for me…but if you'd like you can imagine you in my place or whatever. **


	2. Bloodsucker

**Chapter 2**

"_Sure," Jake replied back._

**(Two Days Later)**

I still hadn't figured out how to get home. Jake came over every day to make sure I was okay. I couldn't explain to him how I knew he was a werewolf or how I knew about vampires.

"How do you know my secret?" he asked.

We were sitting on the couch drinking hot chocolate. I looked down at my cup as I tried to think of something, "I don't know…Bella had told me about you but I don't think she knew you were a werewolf," I looked up at him, "Intuition I guess…something…in my gut…just knew," I told him.

"Intuition?" he asked questionably.

"Yeah," I said with a small smile before I shrugged and looked down again, "I honestly don't know how I knew…I think I dreamt about it," I told him thoughtfully.

It was quiet as I sipped my chocolate and he looked at me intently, "You look a lot like her you know?" he said out of no where.

"Who? Bella?" I asked.

"Yeah…if it wasn't for the slight darker skin and the round face I would have thought I was looking at her twin," he confessed.

"Well…I'm not her," I looked down again, "I wish I was though. I wish I could make all of this just go away. This honest to god isn't right…its all wrong," I looked up to meet his eyes again.

He lightly placed his hand on mine, "I know." I pursed my lips as my eyes started to water again. It was comfortably quiet when Jake's expression suddenly changed. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"We need to go," he stood up quickly and placed his cup and mine on the coffee table.

"What? Why?" I asked confused as he started pulling me up on my feet.

"Just trust me," he said as his muscles got tense.

"Jake…what is it?" I asked. The doorbell rang. I looked back at the door before I started making my way towards it.

"Jazzmin please don't," he begged as he grabbed my arm.

I was inches away from the door but I stopped to look at him, "Jake…what if it's someone important?" I asked. I pulled my arm away and quickly opened the door. I was surprised at who I standing in front of me.

"Edward?" I asked a bit shocked and confused.

"I'm sorry do I know you?" he asked.

"Uh…no but I know you," I said awkwardly as my cheeks started to flush.

"Is Bella here?" he asked desperately as he looked around the room behind me.

My heart sped fast in my chest making him look back at me. I looked down as the tears threatened to spill again, "Maybe you should come in," I managed to say in a strong voice.

He looked at me a bit confused before he stepped into the house. I closed the door behind me and looked around. "Jake?" I asked as I looked in the kitchen. He left. I ran my fingers through my hair before I made my way into the living room where Edward was at.

I sat down on the couch next to him and looked down at my hands, "When I tell you what I'm about to tell you…you're going to have to wait until I get my message through."

I looked up just in time to catch him nod. He already had the pained expression on his face. I bit my lip lightly and ran my fingers through my hair again, "Bella…she…Bella's dead," I finally got out.

I never took my eyes off him. I couldn't let him leave for the Volturi. His face went from pained to tortured. I sniffled a bit and sighed shakily, "I know what you're thinking…and what you want to do. But you're wrong. This isn't your fault. You thought you were protecting her. If you had known that Laurent and Victoria were around you would have never left. Bella wanted me to tell you something. She said that she loves you and that you shouldn't feel guilty enough to kill yourself."

"How do I live without her?" he whispered out.

"I know that forever is long but if you do something to kill yourself…she'll never rest in peace," I said shaking my head a little.

"Who are you?" he asked me confused. Again with that question.

"I'm Jazzmin, Bella's friend from Jacksonville. Don't ask me how but I know everything about you and werewolves," I explained.

He stared at me intently, "You look a lot–."

"Like her…I know…I've been getting that a lot lately," I said as I looked down at my hands.

"Jazzmin," I looked up to find Jacob at the doorway.

"Jacob…where were you at?" I asked.

"I'm not supposed to be here but…I had to make sure you were safe," he replied back in a tense voice.

I got off the couch and walked over to him, "You don't have to worry about me. Everything's fine," I told him.

"You're in a room with a bloodsucker," he said slowly and distinctly.

"I know," I looked back to find Edward standing up as he if he was leaving, "Edward wait," I told him.

He stopped and looked at me, "Don't do it…please. She wouldn't _want_ this," I told him with a pleading voice.

"I'm not going to do anything she didn't want me to," he told me in a sad voice.

I slowly walked over to him and took his hands in mine. He looked up at me and gazed into my eyes, "Things will get better…I promise," I told him.

"How are you so sure?" he asked.

"I'm not…but just like Alice's visions…the future can change at any time. Things may look bad right now but they can look better later. Trust me."

He slowly slipped his hands away from mine, "Thanks…Jazzmin. I better get going though," he said before he started leaving.

I watched him leave before I slowly turned back to Jake, "Are you mad?" I asked.

"How can you trust a vampire after what happened?" he asked.

"He isn't just any vampire Jake. He's a Cullen. They don't eat people like Laurent did," I told him before I walked over and leaned against the couch.

"Yes but they're still _bloodsuckers_," he said as he took a step closer to me.

"I know…I'm sorry but I trust them," I said as I looked down. He was right in front of me now. He slowly placed his hand behind my neck making me look up at him.

He looked into my eyes intently as he leaned in. My mind was full of confusion. What is he doing? I didn't understand what was happening until I felt his lips brush against mine. His lips were warm like the sun so it was hard not to respond back.

I pulled away slowly, "Jake," I whispered. I looked down as he continued leaning over me, "I'm not her," I told him.

He tightened his eyes shut before he slowly leaned away from me, "I know."

I gently placed my hand on his cheek making him open his eyes to look at me, "I like you Jake. Really I do but…you just confessed to me that I look like her."

"You do. You act like her too," he said looking down at his hands.

I sighed before I pulled away, "Its getting late," I told him.

He looked up at me and nodded. It looked like he wanted to ask me something but just couldn't say it. I bit my lip lightly and slowly followed him to the door. "Bye Jake," I whispered out.

"Bye…Jazz?" he said questionably.

I chuckled lightly, "Night," I said shaking my head before I slowly closed the door. I slowly turned around and suddenly felt very lonely. I sighed again before I went up to take a shower. I used Bella's shampoo since I didn't bring any with me. If I would have known this was going to happen I would have brought it with me.

As soon as I finished taking a shower I got into Bella's pajamas which amazingly fit me and got into her bed. Although I did like this town way better than mine…I missed home. Hopefully I'd fall asleep and wake up there again. But then…I never did have such luck.


	3. How do you know so much?

**Chapter 3**

_Hopefully I'd fall asleep and wake up there again. But then…I never did have such luck._

I woke up to a cold sensation above me and to the sound of someone breathing close to my ear. Yeah this definitely isn't home. I opened my eyes and blinked a couple times, "Edward?" I'd recognized the form anywhere.

He slowly pulled away, he had been sniffing my hair apparently, and looked at my face, "I'm sorry," he said but didn't move from his spot on the bed. He was sitting right next to me, leaning down a bit.

I lifted myself up a bit with my elbow and looked at his face, "Its okay…I understand," I told him in a thick voice. He looked blurry for some reason. I blinked my eyes a couple more times and felt it. Tears were running down my face.

I had been crying; still am actually. I pursed my lips and sniffled a bit before looking down. I must have had a nightmare…I just can't remember what it was about. But I can sure guess what it was about. Edward gently placed his finger under my chin and lifted it up so I could meet his eyes.

He smiled, although it was a sad one, before he gently wiped my tears away with his thumbs. He stayed quiet though. I bit my lip lightly, "I know it hurts," I whispered to him, "And you'll never be able to forget her…or the pain…but this isn't what she would have wanted," I shook my head and sniffled a bit, "She would want us to…move on with our lives and lead them as if…as if she never existed. Which we can't do but…we can at least _try_ and move on."

"As if she never existed," he repeated solemnly.

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. I _totally_ forgot that's what you…."

He looked at me questionably now, "How do you know so much? About me and Bella? About vampires and werewolves? About the Volturi?" he asked.

I looked back down, "If I tell you you'll think I'm crazy…which at this point I think I might be."

"I still want to know," he told me.

"If I tell you…will you promise not to tell anyone?" I asked him as I looked up and met his eyes.

He nodded. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, "I'm not really…Bella's friend," I looked up to meet his eyes.

"Then who are you?" he asked.

"I'm from…a parallel universe?" I said like a question.

"You're joking right?" he asked with a smile.

"I wish…look you're not…real," I told him.

He seemed hurt by the confession, "No I didn't mean because you're a vampire…although that is part of it," I whispered, "You're not real because you're from a…book."

"A book?" he asked.

"Yeah it's a series actually. And it is…or was…about you and Bella's forbidden love."

"What changed?" he asked.

"Well…she sort of…died. That wasn't supposed to happen. I somehow got here and she ended up dying. So I'm thinking that if I figure out a way to get back that everything will rewind and she'll come back and everything will go back to the way it was supposed to."

"What if it doesn't?" he asked.

"Then we're screwed," I told him truthfully.

"Okay well what exactly were you doing before you ended up here?" he asked.

I sat up completely and rubbed my eyes as I thought about it, "I was…daydreaming I guess…remembering what happened in this book. I was thinking about Laurent finding Bella in the meadow and suddenly I was there," I told him.

"Maybe you're the one that got yourself here," he suggested.

"Huh?" I asked completely confused.

"Maybe you have some sort of power. Try thinking about your room and house and maybe you can get back there," he said in an excited voice.

I nodded and lay back down before I closed my eyes and relaxed completely. I tried to envision myself on my bed in my room. The smell of vanilla filling my senses.

"Jazzmin!"

I quickly sat up and the first thing I saw was my bookshelf that was filled with my books, "Yes!" I shouted happily. "It worked!"

"Uh hum," someone cleared their throat. I turned to my left to find Edward staring at me, "Not exactly."

I bit my lip lightly, "Oops. My bad."

"Jazzmin!" my mom called to me in Spanish.

"Going!" I yelled back. I sat up on the bed, "Stay here when I get back I'll figure this out." I jumped off my bed and quickly walked out of my room, down the hall to my right and into the living room, "Yeah?" I asked my mom who was sitting at the kitchen table.

"I've been calling you for five minutes. What were you doing?" she asked as she looked at me from above her glasses.

"I was…hearing music on my Mp3 player," I lied quickly.

She stared at me suspiciously, "Okay well your sister and Jacob are coming in a little bit so," she looked down at my clothes, "make sure to change."

I groaned, "Jack up is coming too?"

"Yes," she said with a smile.

I bit my lip a bit, "Can I stay in my room instead?"

"You've been in your room all day," she told me.

"But I _hate_ him. Just looking at his stupid face makes me want to explode from anger," I told her with a bit of anger in my voice.

"You better start liking him. Your sisters going to have his baby…remember that," she reminded me.

"Yeah well I think she should still dump the guy. I mean he's cheated on her _four times_ with _four different women_. He's a complete and total ass and _so_ doesn't deserve my stupid sister," I said as I crossed my arms over my chest.

She chuckled at me, "Go change…where did you get those pajamas?" she asked questionably.

"Umm," I looked down at my pajamas, "Sherry bought them for me."

"Oh…okay," she said before she looked back down at the Avon book in her hands.

I sighed before I walked back into my room and locked the door behind me, "Okay I…" I turned around to find Edward looking at the posters intently, "What are you doing?" I asked slowly.

"You seem to have an obsession," he glanced down at me, "It's fascinating to me. I've never met anyone obsessed with anything that's not real."

I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him lightly, "Okay let's forget about my room and try to figure out how to get back." I walked over to my book shelf and took out four very important books: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. "These are the books," I said as I put them on the bed.

He took Twilight into his hands and skimmed through it. I picked up New Moon and turned to the page where Bella meets Laurent. That's all that was on the page. The rest of the book was blank. I looked down at it confused, "What the…?"

"What is it?" Edward asked as he put the book in his hands on the bed and looked over my shoulder.

"It's all been erased. The rest of the book is missing," I told him. I turned back to the last page with writing and read the last couple of lines out loud, _"His name burst through all the walls I'd built to contain it. _Edward, Edward, Edward. _I was going to die. It shouldn't matter if I thought of him now. _Edward, I love you." I looked up at him to find a solemn, pained look on his face.

I closed the book and opened eclipse to find that empty as well as Breaking Dawn. "Oh no," I plopped down on the bed and looked down at the ground as realization hit me.

"What?" he asked.

"I ruined _everything_," I told him with a shake to my head.

"What are you talking about?" he asked as he sat down next to me.

I glanced up at him before I looked back down, "The books are erased. As if they never existed. I changed everything. I got Bella killed and ruined the lives of thousands of people."

"This isn't your fault," he said as he laid his hand on my shoulder lightly.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to him, "I didn't mean to ruin your life."

"Stop blaming yourself Jazzmin. This wasn't and isn't your fault," he said as he lifted my chin up with his index finger.

"Sherry's here!" my mom called out for me.

"Crap," I walked over to my closet and picked out some clothes real fast, "Turn around and don't look. I don't have time to change in the restroom and you can't leave this room," I told him.

He stood up and turned around. I quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a shirt, "Okay–."

"Sister!" my sister's voice rang through the house.

"You want me to hide?" he asked.

"Where?" I asked as I looked around. I looked back at him, "I'll just tell them you're a friend…hopefully they won't recognize you," I said before I turned around and opened the door.

I stopped in my tracks to find my pregnant sister in front of me, "There you are I was…" she looked behind me at Edward.

**A/N: Okay so this story might not get updated as much as the rest but i dont have to worry about that because i never expected readers for this one anyways....but im sure that whoever reads this will be glad that i just updated on 'I want to know what love is' :) well unless you read that one first then this lol**


	4. Time Heals All Wounds

**Chapter 4**

_I stopped in my tracks to find my pregnant sister in front of me, "There you are I was…" she looked behind me at Edward._

My heart sped fast in my chest as I waited for her to recognize him, "Who's this?" she asked.

I sighed silently in relief before I turned slightly to introduce them, "This is Edward…Johnson," I quickly lied.

She smiled as she took his hand in hers, "I'm Jazzmin's big sister Rosadee. You can call me Sherry," she said before she looked at me, "Come say hi to Jake," she told me.

"We'll be there in a bit," I told her.

She smiled and nodded before she turned around and walked away, "Jacob as in Jacob black?" Edward asked.

I shook my head, "No this is my sister's boyfriend Jacob Donald," I told him, "Okay so here's what you need to know. Your names Edward Johnson you live here in Orosi and you're a senior like me. Your mom is a nurse somewhere in Tulare and your father passed away. You have no siblings and you moved here from Alaska."

"Wow you came up with that pretty fast," he said impressed.

I shrugged, "I think faster under pressure."

"Okay anything else I should know?" he asked.

"Well you can read their minds…I don't mind. Just so that you can know who they are," I took his hand started leading him to the living room.

"Wait," he said as he stood in the hallway.

I stopped and looked up at him, "What?"

"What's your full name?" he asked, "And how old are you?"

"Can't you just figure that out by reading my mind?" I asked confused.

"I can't read your mind," he said looking down.

"You can't?" I asked surprised.

"No," he said looking at my brother's door. "Who's room is that?" he asked.

"My brothers," I told him.

"Will he be upset that I'm here?" he asked.

"He's in prison. But if he finds out he sure will be. My full name is Jazzmin Rose Salinas. You can call me jazz for short if you prefer. I'm seventeen…I have an older sister and older brother and a little nephew that I can barely stand. My sister is obviously pregnant as you saw and she's living in a town 30 minutes from here with her boyfriend who is a completely and total jackass," I filled in him.

"I'm guessing you don't like him," he said with an amused smile.

I smiled tightly back, "I absolutely loath him. But _he_ doesn't know that," I grinned, "I'm a very good actress in that department."

"Okay I think I got everything up to speed," he said with a small nod to his head.

I nodded and took him to the living room, "Hey Jacob," I said in a content voice before sat down on the couch near the doors. Edward sat beside me, "This is my friend Edward Johnson," I told my mother and Jacob.

"I didn't know you had company," my mother told me as she looked from me to him back and forth.

"Umm you were at grandmas when he came over," I lied.

"Oh well hello Edward I'm Jazzmin's mother Rosa," he got up and shook my mother's hand.

"Nice to meet you ma'am," he told her politely in a silky voice.

"So what have you two been up to?" my sister asked from beside Jacob.

"We were just doing homework," I said with a small shrug.

"Is your computer working?" Jacob asked me suddenly.

I felt the anger inside me boil. I tried my best to simmer it down a bit and shook my head lightly, "It's completely shut down and I had to take it to a repair guy. I won't get it back until Monday."

"Well that's too bad," he said as he looked back at the football game that was coming on TV. He seemed annoyed by my answer. I glared at him lightly. My sister caught me and signaled for me to cut it out.

I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest. "Edward and I have homework to finish up so we'll be in my room." I stood up and walked back to my room, Edward close behind me.

"He is a jackass," he told me once I closed the door.

"I know right? Did you read his mind?" I asked.

"Yes…all he ever thinks about is the game and sex. Did you know he was cheating on your sister?" he asked.

"Sure…she doesn't care though. He's already cheated on her like four other times."

"All that's in your sister's mind is him. Its like she programmed to please him," he informed me.

"I always thought he might have done some voodoo crap on her," I said as I sat on the bed.

"So what do we do about the books?" he asked as he picked breaking dawn up and flipped through the blank pages.

I sighed, "I have no clue. Maybe we should go back to your reality and try to fix it there," I suggested.

He looked around the room one last time before he looked at me again and nodded, "Okay lead the way," he said.

"I'm going to take your hand. I don't want to accidently leave you here," I explained.

He nodded as he placed his hand in mine. It felt cool against my warm skin. I let out a breath and closed my eyes in concentration. I tried to imagine myself in Bella's room sitting on her bed.

"We're here," Edward suddenly announced.

I jumped in surprise and ended up falling off the bed. "Ow," I complained as I rubbed my right elbow.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked as he offered me a hand.

I took it and stood up, "Yeah…I'm kind of used to getting myself hurt."

"Danger magnet?" he asked.

"Not as much as Bella was," I told him truthfully in my defense.

He smiled lightly and looked around the room, "What are you going to do when Charlie gets back?" he asked.

I sighed, "I'll probably have to go back home."

A hint of disappointment and fear hit his eyes, "Do you have to go?" he asked quietly.

"I have no where to stay here," I told him with a small shake in my head before I looked out the window.

"You can stay with me," he requested.

"With you?" I asked in disbelief.

"Only if you want to," he stated briefly.

"Are you sure your family's okay with that?" I asked hesitantly.

"They'll be fine with it," he told me matter-of-fact.

"But what about Jake?" I asked.

"What about him?" he asked confused.

"You didn't only lose Bella, Edward. Jake was Bella's best friend when you left. He's just as heart broken as you," I told him softly.

"But he's a werewolf," he told me.

"I know that," I told him as I walked over to the window and looked out at the dark sky.

"Jazzmin…werewolves' are–."

"Not good company to keep. I know, I know, I've heard that before," I told him as I turned around to look at him. I couldn't decipher the expression on his face. I sighed as I looked around the room, "Why do you want me to stay anyways?" I asked.

He stayed quiet making me look up. He was suddenly inches away from me. I jumped back a bit in surprise, "Jeez are you trying to kill me?" I asked.

He smiled lightly in amusement, "No. I'm sorry," he looked down at his feet before looking up at me serious now, "You're the only thing keeping me sane at the moment. If it wasn't for you I would have gone to Italy like I had planned."

"I know you can't live in a world where she doesn't exist and my next words may be harsh but you need to find a way to get over it," I told him candidly.

"How? How do you get over something like this?" he asked.

"Time heals all wounds Edward. I should know," I told him.

"Did…a boyfriend of yours die or something?" he asked.

"No…I was…I guess you can say in love with this guy for two years. When I finally got the courage to find out if he was interested he turned me down. Said I wasn't his type," I shrugged, "Sure it hurt at first. I hated myself because of it. I didn't think I was good enough to be anybody's girlfriend after that. I never got a crush or anything close to it after that. I realized that somehow I had made my life revolve around his rejection. I can't even remember the years after he had said that to me. It seems like a blur now. But I snapped out of it. I realized that he wasn't important. If he didn't like me well then…oh well what was I to do about."

"Although your story is sad and has a meaning…I don't think it quite fits my scenario," he told me softly.

"It's the same thing. Your hanging on to something that's dead. I didn't let go of him. I kept hanging on to something that had died and was never going to get a chance to be reborn. You have the same situation except yours is more literal," I explained.

"I guess I see your point," he said with a small sigh, "But I still want you to stay…if it's not _too_ much trouble."

"I guess this could be a way to fix what I've broken," I said to him.

"Exactly," he said with a smile.

I rolled my eyes and covered my mouth to yawn, "I'm sorry I'm taking away your time to sleep. You should go back to bed," he commanded.

I walked over to the bed sleepily and got under the covers. "You don't mind if I watch you sleep do you?" he asked as he tucked me in lightly.

I shook my head, "No not at all."


	5. Harsh Words

**Chapter 5**

_I shook my head, "No not at all."_

I curled up in a ball on my side and closed my eyes. Edward was lightly stroking my hair, "Does this bother you?" he asked in a whisper.

I shook my head lightly. I soon feel into a deep sleep thanks to Edward. My mom used to put me to sleep like that when I was little. Worked every time. And apparently it still does.

I woke up energized in the morning. I fluttered my eyes open and looked around the room, "Edward?" I asked as I started sitting up.

"I'm over here," his voice came from the rocking chair. I ran my fingers through my hair as I looked over at him.

"Good morning," glad to see you're still alive.

"Morning," he said with a small attentive smile.

I got up from the bed and stretched my arms out in front of me, "So what are you doing today?" I asked him as I stood up.

"Anything you want," he told me as he rocked back and forth lightly.

He seemed more gloomy today than usual, "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing," he sighed.

"You're lying," I said as I crossed my arms over my chest in front of him.

"Really its nothing," he insisted.

I sighed, "Okay well I'm going to take a shower," I said as I walked towards the door. I opened the door and as I walked out I bumped my shoulder against the wall. I stopped, "Ow," I rubbed my shoulder.

There was a chuckle from inside the room. I popped my head around the door and glared at him. His chuckle died down and he just smiled at me. I rolled my eyes at him and went to the bathroom. I took a shower and got ready. I had just finished blow drying my hair when there was a knock at the door.

I looked at it confused before I opened the door to see Edward with the phone in hand. "Who is it?" I asked as tucked my hair behind my ears.

"Jacob," he told me.

"Donald?" I asked.

"No Black," he said with a small smile.

"Thank god. Wouldn't want to talk to that asshole," I took the phone from him and put it up to my ear, "Hey Jake."

"Has the bloodsucker even left the house?" he asked in a tight voice.

I walked passed Edward and went to Bella's room, "No. Why do you care?" I asked a bit possessive.

"I promised I would protect you Jazzmin. I can't protect you on their turf," he informed me in an aggravated voice.

"Don't worry I'm safe here," I told him.

"Yeah that's what Bella thought too," he said harshly.

I clenched my jaw in anger, "Shut up Jake. You have _no_ clue what you're talking about."

"Don't I?" he challenged in anger.

"You were supposed to save her you ass," I told him harshly.

He stayed quiet, "No–."

"If you don't remember right the Cullen's weren't here to protect her. _You_ were supposed to save her. So don't be talking shit," I told him as I tied my shoes in anger.

I looked up after I was finished to find the room empty. Edward had left. I sighed, "I'm sorry Jake. That was harsh."

"It was the truth," he said in a sad voice.

"No it was only half the truth," I told him as I walked over to the window and looked around for Edward.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

I bit my lip lightly before I started walking downstairs, "It's a long story. You think I can go over there?" I asked.

"Sure are you coming now?" he asked.

I grabbed my coat and started putting it on, "Yep. I'll see you in a bit."

"See you," he said before he hung up.

I put the phone back where it belonged and paused. There was a cell phone on the counter. I picked it up and put it in my pocket before I grabbed Bella's keys and walked over to her truck.

I got in her truck and started the engine. I turned my head back to see if there was a car coming. I jumped in surprise. I slammed on the brake causing the engine to protest. "You scared the hell out of me. You _really_ need to stop doing that," I told Edward.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"La Push," I told him as I tried to catch my breath.

"To go see Jacob?" he asked as he looked down at his hands. I don't think I've ever read this side of Edward before.

"Yeah…I kind of feel bad about what I told him," I said as I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Will you come back?" he asked.

"Yeah…I was actually going to call you right now. I thought maybe you were upset and I don't want you to do anything stupid," I said truthfully.

"How were you planning on calling me?" he asked.

I pulled the cell phone out, "This is Bella's right?" I asked.

He looked at it for a while, "Yeah."

"If you want I can call you when I leave La Push," I suggested. I felt bad for leaving him all alone. He needed me and I knew that but so did Jacob. Was it always this hard to choose between them? Is this why Bella had such a difficult time to choose?

I sighed, "I hate this."

He looked up at me with a confused expression, "What?"

"I hate having to choose between you and Jacob. If this is what Bella had to do I understand now why she had so much difficulty choosing," I informed him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

I sighed again, "In the third book Bella has to choose between you and Jake. That's almost what the whole thing is about," I told him as I turned the engine off.

"Who did she choose?" he asked curiously.

"You of course," I told him.

A small smile played on his lips but it wasn't a very happy one it was more of a sad one. My heart broke at the sight. I scooted closer to him and carefully embraced him in a hug, "I'm sorry," I whispered to him.

He hesitantly wrapped his arms around me, "It wasn't you fault."

"Yes it was it was entirely my fault," I said as I pulled away and looked down at my hands in my lap.

He gently lifted my chin up with his index finger and looked into my eyes, "Trust me."

"I do," I told him as I gazed back into his eyes.

He looked away from my eyes and down at my lips. I already knew what was coming. He slowly leaned in and pressed his cold hard lips against mine. I wrapped my arms slowly around his neck and kissed him back. Was I going to have to explain this to every guy I kissed?

I pulled away from the kiss and looked into his eyes, "I'm not her," I told him.

"I know," he told me but didn't let go of my waist.

I looked back into his eyes in a bit of confusion, "Your just making this more complicated."

"No I'm making this easier on us," he replied back honestly.

"How?" I asked in confusion.

"By moving on. That's what she wanted right?" he asked as he gently caressed my cheek with his thumb.

"Yes but…I don't know if this is such a good idea," I said with a small sigh.

"Why?" he asked with slight confusion in his eyes.

"Because I'm confused," I told him honestly.

**A/N: Remember this isn't a story I'll be really worried about because I'm just posting it up for my own pleasure. LOL anyways if you want to review go ahead :) **


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